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Where does our freedom come from?

11/11/2016

I write this an hour after taking time to remember the fallen heroes and those who are still here and serving our country today. I also took time to remember the families who know what it is like to say goodbye to their loved ones who fought for our freedom; some never to hug one another ever again.

Days like today (Remembrance Day), I reflect and consider where my freedom really has come from. I like to say that I create my own freedom and part of that is true...however, I wouldn't be able to create my own freedom today, if it wasn't for the men and women who had the courage (even when they were so fearful), to stand up and fight for us all.

Today I am free to choose, because of your bravery.
Today I am free to raise my family, because of your courage.
Today I am free to decide where I work and I love working from home, Thank you!

Today I am free to live where I want to live, because of your commitment to our country.
Today I am free to enjoy living a safe and happy life, because of your dedication.
Today I am free to travel whenever and (almost) wherever I choose, because of your service.

Today I am free to vote, because of your love.
Today I am free to raise children to be conscious leaders in this world, because of your devotion.
Today I am free to be a business woman, because of your sacrifice.

Today I am free to create how I live each day, because of your determination.
Today I am free to stand up and be myself, because of your honour.
Today I am grateful, because of your willingness to fight for us.

To all the men and woman who have sacrificed time, love and life, I thank you - because without you, I would not be free to create a life by my design! Let us all remember why we have freedom today and let us all take time to give thanks.

Let us also remember that when we blame, complain and judge...we are disrespecting those who have done so much for us to LIVE our lives with choices. We all have a choice today...are we aware of those choices we are making? Each day we wake up, we CAN make a decision to change our choices if they are not serving us. Freedom is because of the brave men and women who served and who still serve our country...now it is our responsibility to stop taking it for granted. Life is meant to be lived and cherished - don't waste it!

Trust, you might just be surprised

11/4/2016

What if you could find a way to allow yourself to TRUST more of the invisible? What would it feel like if you were able to allow uncertainty to become a good thing? How might life improve if you didn't create a story about what WILL happen, and you just let go of the expectations while allowing what is meant to be, BE?

Yesterday was all about TRUST for me. I found myself stressed a few days before, thinking of the worst case scenario. What will people think of me? Will I lose friends, because they will think I am "that person"? What if NO ONE shows up? What if people become so turned off, that they begin to avoid Cam and I? What if it is awkward? What if, what if, what if...?

These were the thoughts, the attacks going on in my head. I became so close to cancelling an evening that we had planned on for over a month. An evening where we would invite guests to our home for some wine and healthy (but yummy) snacks. We were looking to socialize, share 20 minutes about our lifestyle that we've enjoyed now for over 7 years and we wanted guests to bring business cards to network if they had a product or service to share. In theory it all seemed great. Sounds easy enough.

A few days before the event was to take place, I was SCARED! Those dis-empowering thoughts were seeping in. I was creating so many stories. When I expressed my fears, my husband said, "cancel then". I knew that wasn't an option...cancelling just speaks fear, uncertainty, discouragement, defeat and so much more. Following through with things has been a bit of a challenge for me in the past few years. I get super excited and then as time gets closer, I have been known to get "cold feet" so to speak.

Being aware of our habits, helps us change them. I was NOT willing to cancel...even if it meant that only Cam and I were here!

7:00 came. (the event started at 8:00). Friends came in, realizing they were an hour early - and we didn't mind. 3 hours earlier the kids had just gotten off the bus, Cam was still working, the house was a DISASTER and I hadn't made ANYTHING for the event. All I accomplished to that point was actually shop for the wine and ingredients I would be using. So considering my initial panic in the morning of how I would ever get it all done, I posted on Facebook at 10:00am "HOW? Small Steps Forward". That message was for me, as much as others likely benefited from it too. When I caught myself asking how on earth I would be ready for the evening? I listened to the answer, that was simply, small steps forward. (thanks to my soul - the part of me that is so simple and not always logical, but simple).

All those stories I was beginning to get wrapped up in earlier in the week, the ones that had me considering to cancel...became obsolete when I stopped giving them power.

The evening was such a great success. More than I could have ever anticipated or expected. Letting go of the stories and trusting what was meant to be was an important part of the process.

You see, it really is simple if we allow it to be. When you find you are telling yourself a dis-empowering story, be aware of what you are doing. You are making a choice to either listen or not. When we listen, the story often gets bigger and bigger and we have more of a reason to pull the plug on the idea or action we intended on. But when we STOP giving those thoughts the energy or attention, they dissipate. Sounds simple, yet so many of us give in to the negative story we are building in our mind. When we have awareness around it, we can ask ourself a simple question...but we MUST be willing to listen to the simple and empowering answer. Our ego will tell us things to keep us safe. Our soul also wants to keep us safe, but we don't often listen to it, because it is such a silent, small message hidden beneath our fearful "louder" voice. Confidence doesn't come easy...but our soul is always confident, it knows what is right for us, it knows how powerful we can be. It is gently helping us move forward with small steps each and every moment.

The question becomes am I willing to acknowledge the negative "ego" talking and thank it for keeping me safe? While at the same time, allowing myself to not give it power? It is like building a muscle though. We are so programmed (after years and years of doubts, fears, dis-empowering beliefs etc) to continue building stories about what will go wrong. It takes an effort to allow our thoughts and beliefs to shift into, what will go right? TRUST - you might just be surprised when you do!

What if perfection was overrated?

11/3/2016

"How does she make it look so easy? What could I possibly be doing wrong? Why can't I keep up like they appear to? What is wrong with me? When I fail, I feel so alone. I am scared that it will not all work out as I hope it will. I am tired of being so judgmental of myself. I am human. I am perfectly imperfect. I am enough. It is ok to have days or moments of defeat. I simply dust myself off and stand back up - RIGHT?"

This has been a common dialogue I've had in my head. I am sure I am not alone at all. I would believe that many people feel the same or have felt the same. Gosh, these thoughts likely happen even more than we realize, because so much is under the conscious level. It is CRAZY to really think about it all...to listen to it all would exhaust us and make us want to scream or cry or worse...quit.

Quitting is permanent! Always remember that. When we quit, we tell ourselves under the conscious level that we are DONE! It is over...there is no changing our mind. Quitting lasts forever!

So I'll bring you into my day of "healthy habits" that I had yesterday before I start with my imperfect plans for today.

Started off, as many of you reading this know - of me honouring my sleep and catching up after the kids went to school (for yoga, meditation practice). During meditation I knew it was a day for cellular cleansing, so I jumped into it with open arms (it has been a very long time). A friend of mine who is also on a similar path, messaged me to tell me she was also cleansing yesterday, so it felt like a "sign" that it really was a great day, knowing we were doing it together (even though we live 5 hours apart). My day was so strong. I volunteered in my son's class, I was well prepared all day with proper snacks and my cleanse drink. Fast forward to the end of the day, kids home from school. I prepare dinner quickly as we have to get out the door in less than an hour to go to gymnastics. Everyone is fed, but rushed. I held strong, but was finding my anxiety rise fast. Trying to get the kids fed and out the door is never an easy task on the best days...add halloween excitement and sorting candy (as per Jack's homework)...and try to round them up to get out the door...a bit more stressful. Add in that Cam has been away for almost 48 hours by now...and the house is a disaster, I could go on and on..but you get the gist.

We get out the door. Get to gymnastics to find that the parking lot that is already very limited, has now got 4 spaces that are newly blocked off and not available to use for gymnastics. Ok, so we were on time, now we will may not be. I sent Hannah with her little sister, to get Kate started in her class that was about to start. I sat in the van with Jack waiting ever so patiently for a car to leave so that I could park.

After a wait, I continued to feel my blood boil. I was now feeling "h-ANGRY" A term I once heard...and even though I knew I wasn't hungry, my anger and frustration that has been building up, hit a point of no return. I had nothing with me (prepared all day, but now caught without anything to help me out....for those of you who know what Ionix is, that would have been my saving grace). I was now at gymnastics for 3 hours with no saving grace.

The kids were complaining that they were hungry and that they didn't have enough to eat for dinner. Not a surprise, we are always so rushed, I told them next time they will have a "healthier" dinner by having a shake or a bar before gymnastics. Leftovers from a few nights ago, may have tasted ok, but it certainly didn't prepare them the way a shake or bar would have for sports.

Near the gym, there is a Subway...the dreaded Subway...the place that fools me into thinking I am eating a "healthy option". I told the kids I would go get them a sub to share. So off I went. AND...as I ordered, I did it...I ordered a tuna wrap topped with sooo many veggies, I was drooling. Yup, I did it...I failed my cleanse day with what would have been an early bedtime for myself (if I would have been home by that point)...only to cave in and eat. I was aware of what I was doing, and somehow I couldn't stop myself. I knew if a bed was in front of me, I would have crashed and avoided this all together. And when life happens, it becomes a reminder to me of all the reasons I am doing what I am. Trying to cope with the demands of being a parent can at times, knock us down so hard that we don't know how to pick ourselves back up. I felt that way last night...especially after I gave into the tuna wrap. AHHHHH! And as I began to feel guilty, I quickly stopped and reminded myself that I am human! I also saw this post that a beautiful soul shared...and it kept me grounded and forgiving of myself in that moment.

Pretending to be perfect - is not me. Being real and owning my mistakes, my imperfections...that helps me feel aligned and in integrity. Integrity to many would be, don't fail - no matter what. You do a cleanse day, you follow through NO MATTER WHAT. For me, integrity means - do your best and admit when you fall down. Because being human is about embracing the imperfections and moving forward - without tearing ourself down.

My cleanse day didn't end the way I planned, but I understood the lesson. I am still going to love the person I am, because like my mind will tell me, I am enough. I am perfectly imperfect. It is ok to have moments of defeat. I simply dust myself off and stand back up.

Today I will continue to be perfectly imperfect and I will love myself for where I am, no matter what.

Sleep might be...

11/2/2016

...the real answer to the question, what is more important for weight loss - diet or exercise? As the book I am currently reading (The Adrenal Reset Diet) suggests, "sleep determines how much you eat, which foods you crave, and what your body does with the calories. Sleep deprivation works just like alcohol." It goes on to say that decisions are affected based on the amount of good quality sleep you get, just like when we drink alcohol our decisions are altered. Does alcohol cause people to make better choices or worse choices? The book further explains how sleep controls insulin sensitivity and recommends "the magic number that seems to clearly predict weight gain and poor health is roughly 7.5 hours. Many do well with more, but almost no one does well with less."

As I continued to read this chapter last night, there was no specific answer to the question, how much sleep should we get if 7.5 is not a good number? So I did some further research this morning. Dr. Lam is a well known doctor who works with people suffering from any stage of Adrenal Failure. When I was told I was in stage 3 (crashed), I was surprised to learn the seriousness of this and I also learned that so many of us are in stage 3 adrenal exhaustion (who don't even know they are). Dr. Lam's article (linked here), explains all the habits for getting a proper sleep, but still not a specific number of hours recommended. So if less than 7.5 is not good, than over 7.5 must be best. I would bet a guess, that many adults do not get over 7.5 hours of sleep per night. I assume that because everyone's needs are different, there is no exact "magic" number that will work for us all.

So when I turned my light off last night (because I was so into my book), I realized that it was already 11:00. I read for over an hour...I also caught myself doing a Facebook Live after 9:00pm (which I am careful not to be on my computer or phone after 9:00 usually as I know that this is not good for a great sleep).

At 6:00am I woke up and went to the washroom (7 hours of sleep). I asked myself, is this a morning that I will continue my healthy morning routines at 6:25? It was pitch black outside and very foggy. My soul said, "no you must get more sleep, sleep until 7:25 and do your morning routines when the kids are in school". My ego or lizard brain was yelling at me, "you are lazy, see you are giving up...you are not following through on your plans...loser, go ahead, go back to sleep, you'll wake up and I will tell you I TOLD YOU SO" I'll admit, I almost trusted my ego/lizard brain, because it is oh so convincing...but I also trust my soul much more now that I ever did. That voice that is so silent, that we hardly ever hear it. Our soul will not shout at us, it will gently remind us to be compassionate, loving and respectful to ourself. My soul doesn't want me to give up on my healthy habits, but it does want me to be respectful of my needs (that include sleep).

I admit, I was the one who decided to keep reading and get caught up in my book. So instead of lights out at 10:00pm, I wasn't hitting my pillow until 11:00. Therefore it is no wonder my soul was begging me to respect myself and sleep the extra hour. Another interesting thing that the book says, is that when we are in sleep debt...we really do need to catch up. When it is bad enough, the author even suggests that we take a "sleep cation" for a few nights at a hotel with NO distractions and dim lighting, naps and full night sleeps for the entire time. I once heard that once we lose sleep, we cannot catch up...so I will admit this part of the book was VERY interesting to me and I had a hard time believing what I was reading.

So as I complete today's blog entry, I hope that it helps you (the reader) realize how important sleep truly is to your overall health. Something I just learned about today was that there is something called the Body Clock. It is on my list to buy as it apparently helps us wake up more naturally (without a loud sounding alarm) that gradually lights up in place of natural light. Obviously this is only really needed when we are experiencing darker mornings during the fall and winter. This is definitely something that many of us could benefit from, yet more importantly getting a good quality sleep is most important and if this is not happening for you currently, it might be a great time to re-set new boundaries and create new habits for yourself. Your body, mind and soul will thank you!

And yes, I did follow through - I enjoyed my yoga, meditation practice this morning right after the kids got on the bus. I would have to say, also that I am grateful this happened the way that it did today, because I was able to realize during my meditation practice that today is the day I will do a full cellular body cleanse. It has been a VERY long time since I have done one...so wish me luck!

Honouring yourself...even if it seems you are not!

11/1/2016

What a great evening we had with the kids and our friends last night. Halloween is always such a fun time...and unfortunately it was on a Monday evening (the beginning of a school week). I knew that the kids would be tired in the morning (as we were getting to bed much later than they would on a school night), so the decision to let them sleep in was a simple one.

My alarm went off at 6:25am, I slept right to the alarm and strangely it didn't play my song choice (Scars to your beautiful), but sounded like a strange symbol that rang twice before I reached over to turn it off.

I moved my toes and fingers and asked myself if this was a good idea today? Considering that I also went to bed much later than I normally do, I was more exhausted than I've been in a while. I had everything planned before I went to bed, so I was prepared, but my body craved sleep more than to get up and do my yoga, meditation and soul journalling routine. Now before, I create a story around this scenario, as it could look like an excuse and the beginning of breaking my new habits, I decided to be gentle on myself this morning to honour the space I was in, without beating myself up. And I slept for over an hour longer. It felt so good to do this and I knew that I wasn't just letting myself off the hook, but that I was honouring my needs and my needs were to get more sleep at that exact moment.

The kids woke up shortly after I did and they asked if they were going to miss the bus, I told them yes, but that I was glad they got more sleep because of how late they went to bed last night. (I am sure not only my kids will benefit from getting a great rest, but the teachers will appreciate it too).

I took them to school approximately a half hour late and I drove myself to the gym to do an hour long yoga class. As I laid on my mat in my yoga class, I thanked myself for being gentle, non-judgemental and for honouring my needs this morning.

Something that a great mentor of mine, Peta once shared...there are times when you are going to need more sleep, honour yourself...even if it means you will miss your morning workout or routine that day. We all have needs and often we ignore them. I was grateful for that lesson many months ago from Peta, and today I was able to remind myself of this valuable lesson.

Earlier to bed tonight will be the plan for myself and my 3 kids and back to our regular routines tomorrow morning.

Week #2, ups and downs are NORMAL!

10/31/2016

Today began as a great day...and even during the "oops" moments, we continue to learn and accept ourself unconditionally.

Waking up before my alarm was a great reminder of the strength that I have to keep pushing through as I build a new habit. The song I choose to "wake up" to today (if I didn't wake before the alarm) was I'm on top of the world, by Imagine Dragons.

After watching the video with my children (when they were awake, it has even more meaning now). I love when music inspires us like this one does! And I love the humour in it too...reminds me to be less serious about life!

Yoga and meditation today was pretty good. And I will admit, sometimes when we "stretch a new muscle" - like creating a new habit, we are put up against challenges that have us question things. Today, when I did my yoga selection, I noticed that it was great (and had some stretches that challenged me) but it seemed very choppy and lacked flow into the next stretch or pose. I hadn't noticed this before, but today I felt more aware and felt like I was changing how my body moved a whole lot more than normal. Not complaining, but noticing. I also found that when I did Dr. Wayne Dyer's meditation today, I was finding myself a bit distracted by the "Ahhhhh...." sound that he did on each exhale. I found myself trying to follow along, and at times I did really wonderful "ahhhhhhh" sounds, yet - I was finding it too strange for me (I was judging myself), so I just returned to focusing on my breath and I really enjoyed his affirmations during the last half of the session.

Later today I realized that I was doing really well. I had gone to get groceries, but didn't plan to be out for lunch hour as I had the intention to be home by 12:30, and didn't bring anything to eat. I started to get hungry by 1:00 and instead of driving to Subway (that was close to the grocery store), I held off and made it home to have my 2nd shake of the day just after 1:20.

As I began to prepare dinner, I decided to make some kale chips. I love chips and I recognized that tonight might be a challenge as I can easily dig into the Halloween stash of chips. Yet I was being very mindful and knew that it would be a treat for me to enjoy crispy kale chips instead. I enjoyed some kale chips and then I came to my office to sit down at my desk and there was a mindless moment...yup, I am human. My kids asked for a piece of chocolate from the fundraiser the girls did for gymnastics a few weeks ago. They brought it to my office when I was working in here a few days ago and I broke off a piece for each of them to enjoy, and then I wrapped it and put it on my desk. It sat there for several days (and I don't normally crave or eat chocolate, so I assumed it wasn't an issue). Today (after I made my beautiful and tasty kale chips...and when I sat down at my desk for the first time today, I mindlessly opened the last piece of wrapped chocolate that the kids didn't eat...I put it in my mouth, let it melt and then realized what I had done. I wasn't present in the moment, I was distracted and unfocused. How could I be so mindful a few minutes sooner, to then sit down and be so mindless? Because I am human...and I then took a moment to reflect on how often this likely happens to many of us. When we are really focused and present, we can make decisions that we are conscious of and this is where our change occurs...and when we allow ourselves to be distracted, we can find our subconscious mind in control. Tricky, sneaky unconscious mind, you! I'd have to say the chocolate was pretty good, but really? How did I even let that happen? Amazing what distracted minds can do. What area of your life are you allowing your subconscious mind to be in control? I am certain that it isn't just with eating habits. I know for me it is also when I am shopping and spending money. Some habits sure are difficult to break, especially when our subconscious mind is so powerful!

These moments of awareness make me realize that it is ok to feel weird or off when beginning new routines. It is normal to have highs and lows and at times, and this can bring even more questions than when we got started. I am human...and if I didn't question or feel strange at times, it would be even more weird.

So as you begin new routines, forgive yourself for feeling odd, unfocused, strange or even a bit unsure about if what you are doing is for you. Chances are - this is just part of the process...and the day we give up because it feels too strange or we feel that we've failed, is the day we do fail. Failing is not an option, I will continue moving forward even when things are not as expected or when I've fallen down. Reminding myself to "let go" of expectations at times and to forgive myself when I've made a mistake and also allow uncertainty to be part of the journey, is where brilliance occurs.

I choose brilliance. How about you?

Video blog for day 5 - with soul journaling...

10/28/2016

The choices that I made today...felt so aligned and BRILLIANT!

Song choice: Beautiful U R - by Deborah Cox
Yoga Choice: 20 minute mindful morning yoga practice (all levels)
Meditation Choice: guided mediation to connect with your Spirit Guide and Receive Self Acceptance

Something I didn't mention in my video today...when I was in meditation and I came to the place where I met my Spirit Guide(s), I found them telling me about patience with myself - and oh my there was so much they told me, very specific things...and here I am a few hours later, and because I didn't actually write down the messages this morning immediately after (during my journalling time)...I have forgotten what those messages were. Might be a great sign to do this same mediation again next week.

It really can be a better day...

10/28/2016

My day started out not so great. I woke up at 5:50, again at 6:00 and then in a deep "dreaming state again", I woke to the loud sound of Silento - on my alarm. Yes, I choose a song that I knew the kids liked...and of all mornings, this would not have been my choice, considering he starts out yelling (as it seemed at 6:25 am) "You already know who it is, Silento, Silento, Silento...." As I reached for my phone and jumped out of bed.

So I am reminded to never use that song as an alarm song again. Fun song, just not a great one for waking up to. Whip Nae Nae

I began my routines of using the Yoga and Meditation that I selected for myself for the day...and I will admit, I didn't feel very "connected" to the sessions that day. (links above). Now the issue very well could have been me. I was in a "funk" to begin with and ironically it was the first day of my new cycle. At times in the past year (since I've had adrenal challenges, I have noticed a certain level of "grumpiness" on this first day of my cycle. So when it happens, I recognize it, and find gratitude for being a woman with healthy reproductive organs. Always, always gratitude even when we are in a state of "discomfort or grumpiness". I allow it to be my reminder to be grateful for what I have.

Last night when I went to bed...I didn't take time previously to write a blog for my day...so my facebook post acted as one that I knew I would copy and paste into my Courage to Be blog today.

At 9:10 pm last night I wrote on Facebook as a quick summary of my day:

Really? As I see the time, I realize it is time to prepare for my early morning routines.
I did find myself wish for more time to sleep when my alarm went off today, yet I knew I made a commitment to myself to follow through on my new healthy habits. Pressing snooze was not an option.

20 mins of yoga, 20 mins of meditation and 20 mins of soul journaling (Elisa Romeo, thank you)

I also met a friend for lunch and as busy as I was, and I almost canceled, I knew that my soul wanted me to meet up with my friend Kari. (My soul journaling exercise was my reminder first thing today, I wasn't willing to go against it)

I got the kids to bed after taking time to enjoy a great evening with them learning about Michael Jackson. (They requested it, so we learned a lot together.) Jack also wrote multiple letters and drew pictures to Micheal and he hopes that he will come back to life someday.

A wonderful evening after a great day (that had some hectic moments and I practiced forgiveness for the imperfect parts that almost knocked me off course)
As I was just about to get myself ready for bed, I noticed a card tucked under the blankets by my pillow. It was a beautiful card from my husband (Cam) who is my biggest cheerleader. He is cheering me on, for this day 4...for sticking with my early morning plan and my healthy meals all week. He has seen me start and quit a lot of things...so his support is so helpful.

I can say that if you have a decision to make and you have been putting it off or making excuses -please set an intention to decide on your START date. Day 4 for me and although I struggle at times to follow through, the rewards far outweigh the challenges! You deserve it. Don't keep putting this off...time waits for none of us.

My soul message (near the end of today's few pages) speaks of a message that came to me many years ago after my friend Chris passed away. In my dream he said, "keep on keeping on" a dream I will NEVER forget and his message came through my soul journaling today along with other wonderful reminders.
Nothing changes until you do!

You just never know...

10/26/2016

Today I was reminded how important it is to take time for ourselves without exception...and by committing to my early mornings (something that for years I assumed that I couldn't do - because I love my sleep), I have placed a priority on my "self-care".

During my morning routines - that start with waking up before the alarm, I found myself laying in my bed at 6:00am, wishing that I could have another hour or more in bed. I caught myself working on my quarter 3 taxes until 10:00 last night, which left me with little time to prepare for the next morning (as I have successfully done the past few nights).

I rushed through my planning process and found a 20 minute yoga, 20 minute meditation and a song of the day to use. (my kids are looking forward to the song of the day as much as I do).

For anyone who is enjoying my shares about my 20 minute yoga, meditation and song of the day:

I also had the intention to do my first cellular cleanse day when I woke up. This intention was with me right up until the end of my yoga, meditation and journalling routine. Then something happened to distract me.

I bring my cell phone with me (which is on airplane mode until I need to click on the yoga/meditation links). I usually allow my alarm to go off as I am walking to my basement and preparing my essential oils while airplane mode is still turned on.

Half way through my yoga this morning, (around 6:30 this morning), I got a text message. It was my mom. I thought I should read it as I hadn't talked with her in a few days. However, I waited until my yoga was over. After I replied to her, I continued with my 20 minutes of meditation (after I told her that is what I would be doing, so that she would know I may not reply immediately). Through my meditation I got another message or two. I continued to ignore them and enjoy the process of relaxation.

When meditation was over, I started to journal. I only had one full page done (between personal journalling and soul journalling), and didn't have much to say...even my soul journalling was simple and quick with no major "juice" like in previous days. I looked at it as a non-judgment moment and went about my time to get upstairs to continue my routines (Ionix, and usually shake - but planned to have my first of 4 cleanse drinks of the day).

As I got upstairs, my mom texted again to ask me to call her. This is not part of my routine and I did want to call her back, but knew it might impact my structure to my morning. But decided to embrace it and allow myself to let go of "structure". Yet, day 3 into a new routine, this might not have been the best idea, because as I listened and talked with her, I was finding myself mixing my shake and drinking it (while taking my vitamins) after I took my ounce of Ionix, only to realize as I was half way through, I planned to cleanse today. I caught myself rolling my eyes at myself, and then instantly forgave myself for the mistake and the moment of self-judgement. IT HAPPENS, there will always be other days I can do a cellular cleanse...even if it means I do my first double day cleanse next week. My soul asked me to be gentle with myself today in the journalling, so I was happy to oblige. The more we beat ourselves up for something we forgot about or had planned, the longer it takes us to shift into our new healthy, happy mind/body/soul connection.

The morning continued to go in the direction of "curve balls". As we realized how cold it would be, the kids all scrounged for warm outdoor clothing after they were done their showers and breakfast (which also consists of their FAVOURITE shakes - Kate: Pumpkin Spice, Jack and Hannah, Mint Chocolate).

I realized that the kids were going to miss the bus. And I had a moment of relaxed bliss. The kids missing the bus isn't my idea of "fun", but I recognized that it isn't the end of the world. I felt relaxed bliss, because I had already had my shake and ionix - so this wasn't a day I would "skip" my best meal of the day and opt for a drive thru, that I so often would do (even just a week ago when I had to take them to school). I was reminded again, that when I place priority on "putting my oxygen mask on first" in the morning with my "self-care time", I am better able to cope with the demands of "things that come up".

I took them to school, drove to Wasaga Beach and promised my kids that when I came back at 11:30 to volunteer with Jack's class, that I would have new gloves/mitts for each of them to wear. And again, I followed through.

So as I reflect on my day not going at all as I planned (except for the first hour of my day - minus the distraction from my text messages)...I would have to say that being in the moment sure beats, getting bent out of shape about it all.

Today is the busiest day of the week. I know that I will not be able to get everything done that I had set out to accomplish, but this is where letting go of some of the expectations that I have on myself will be my way to be gentle with me and love where I am anyway.

By the time the kids are home from school, I know I will feed them an early dinner so that the girls can get to their gymnastics class on time. Jack and I will do his homework and read when we are watching the girls (do what they love to do) and we will get home for a later bedtime (because gym goes later than normal bedtime).

And we will continue doing our best again tomorrow.

One thing I am grateful to not only learn today, but to also practice, is being gentle with myself. I love that my soul journalling brought that up. My soul's simple message from today is below...and yes, my soul writes very fast, so my printing is messy. Unlike 3.5 pages yesterday and the day before, my soul simplified the message today...now I realize why. Today is about simplifying and being gentle with the process.

Curious about soul journalling, find a link on my first day.

Another day of COMMITMENT

10/25/2016

Before I share details from my habits today, I will just back up and share that yesterday turned out to be better than I expected (I try not to have expectations so that I don't become disappointed)...my only expectation for myself was that I would give it my best and follow through with what I decided that I deserved to follow through with. Was it easy? I would have to say it was easier than I thought it would be. I realize that I was prepared. There is a difference between "hoping for the best, and winging it" vs preparing and being ready at all times for cravings or hunger to rear it's head. I had healthy snack options at my side and rarely needed them.

By 3:00 I found myself having a headache. I messaged one of my accountability partners at that time to ask her how she was doing on her first day? I also told her that I was feeling a headache (and I don't typically ever suffer from headaches). She reminded me to have water (which I had by my side and realized that I hadn't had enough water). I drank some and had 1 or 2 chewable snacks (dairy free - yummy). And I continued on with my plans to go grocery shopping for healthy choices to have in our home. I intended to make baked fish, but out favourite seafood place is closed Mondays and I had forgotten until I pulled in to shop. When I went to a grocery store to find fish (I already purchased all my produce at one of my favourite whole foods (type of store) called Goodness Me...but I didn't have the fish I wanted. Something had me refrain from buying fish from a regular grocery store (I guess I am spoiled with the choices we have a Johnny's in Barrie, ON.), I just couldn't buy fish from Sobeys.

So chicken it was. I made chicken with mushrooms, a bit of white wine and organic chicken broth to make a very light sauce and some ground black pepper, dijon mustard, green onions and garlic to add flavour. It was so delicious.

I made a side of quinoa and broccoli (seasoned with lemon, pepper, garlic and a bit of olive oil).

Having 3 children, I hear, "eew, that is what we are having for dinner?" and my son even said after that, "what are the kids eating?"

When dinner was served, the kids had a bit of a hard time with it, but they all ate everything on their plates eventually without a whole lot of fuss. Amazing how much they will eat when they stop looking at how it looks, and start to taste it for what it is. Healthy doesn't mean disgusting flavours.

Before bed, I made sure that I was prepared for my early morning ritual. I found the Yoga and Meditation videos I would use, I texted myself both so that it was easy to find them in the morning. I found the song that I would wake up to and I read for about 20 minutes (Brene Brown, The Gifts of Imperfection), before falling asleep.

This morning came and was another success.
I woke up again before my alarm went off. I found that I had many dreams through the night, but I did find that I woke up almost once an hour since 2:00am. Each time I would wake up, I would think it must be time to be up...almost as if I didn't need the 8-9 hours sleep that I normally do. But I managed to always get back to sleep and woke up at 6:15 am again, and made it down to my yoga/meditation room in the dark.

My alarm this morning was set to the song by Avicii called, Wake me up. And although I woke before this song came on, I listened to it before I began my 20 minutes of yoga.

My 20 minutes of yoga today was for strengthening my back.

My 20 minutes of meditation was so relaxing...beautiful sounds of ocean waves continuously. I could have stayed in that state for much longer than the time it was.

I continued to journal. 2 paragraphs of self journalling, and 3.5 pages again of soul journalling. My soul sure is smart. (if you are just reading this for the first time, feel free to go back to yesterday's blog entry to find out more details about soul journalling)

When the kids woke up, I already had my Mint Chocolate shake, my 2 Product B, my 3 Brain Boost, and my 1 accelerator. I turned on today's song of the day, "Wake me Up" on our apple TV and I added it to a new playlist called MORNINGS, so now we have two songs in that playlist (video playlist), the first song from yesterday (Coldplay, Adventure of a Lifetime) is not only our new favourite song and video, but it was one that had the 4 of us breaking out in dance at 8:00 this morning! The kids even said, we can't wait to see what song will be added tomorrow!

Here I am, at 9:32am, feeling so grounded, balanced and inspired (light).

I am grateful that I have given myself this beautiful gift of time and health. That hour in the morning (that I once created excuses about) has become my favourite time of day for myself!

I look forward to hearing from you. If these blog entries have inspired you to create new healthy habits, I look forward to cheering you on.

Ironically someone I care about so much, a family member - reached out and told me yesterday in a text that my post from yesterday inspired her to recommit to herself. As I was typing this entry today, I noticed a text from her about her "day 2" also!

Together we can encourage others to feel better too. Keeping it to ourself doesn't multiply the inspiration...let's share this and help others create change too!

Where this blog began

Author

Tara is a mother of 3. She is a passionate student as she continues to learn not only about her inner strength, but she learns the strength that all people have when they find the courage to trust themselves.

We often believe that we can change others, but the wise student knows that the only person that we can change is ourselves and that change alone may inspire others to do their own work too!

We are born to grow. Growth and learning is a constant in Tara's opinion. When we are not growing...we've heard it before, we are dying. Let's all commit to keep growing - WITH COURAGE!

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