Time...we all have 24 hours in a day - yes. We all have 7 days in a week - yes.  We all have 12 months in a year - yes true!  Why is it that we often feel that time is moving faster than ever before as we reach a certain time in our lives?  Is it because of the hectic schedules we've placed upon ourselves? Is it the massive piles of chores, commitments, plans and work schedules we have all made our new norm?

I don't completely know the answer but I do know that 2019 was a year that went faster for me, than any year previously.  It hit me when I was putting up my Christmas tree in December when I stopped for a moment and felt like I was exactly where I was a year before.  Standing in the same place, experiencing some of the same struggles, appreciating the same gifts in my life and wondering if a year actually zipped by or if I was still standing in the year 2018.  Honestly, during that very moment I had to take a step back to ask myself if I had truly lived in the moment in 2019 or if I had been focusing on just getting through each moment to be able to get on to the next; rushing life by.

Life is busy. I know. It becomes our self fulfilling prophecy if we are not careful. Do we want to be so "busy" that our year passes us by and makes us question if we are actually in the same year or in another year completely? Or do we preach about living in the moment but we can't seem to catch a breath between everything we absolutely have to get done?

Think back for a moment. Where were you 10 years ago, or even better 20 years ago?

During the moment of me writing this blog entry, where was I 20 years ago?  Well it was Jan 2000. I was almost a year into my university career.  I was living with my fiance (at that time) in a house that we bought together and he was working full time, I was working part-time while also practice teaching and studying for my bachelor of arts in Psychology and my bachelor of education; simultaneously. Little did I know that our relationship would end exactly a year later. I was commuting 75 kms to university each way on a 8 lane highway (that I still don't like traveling much when I have to)...but back then I did it daily.  On my drive home, I would imagine my routines when I would get home (let's just say they were not very healthy routines). I would envision the cola being poured over the ice in my glass as it became a habit each day to drink a whole can of coke, my mouth used to water like Pavlov's dogs at the thought of it (thank goodness I kicked that terrible habit in 2001).  Next, I imagined myself watching a soap opera or talk show and then I would make dinner only to watch more TV with my fiance.  Bedtime. Then repeat the routine the next day. As you can imagine I wasn't a very happy person at that time. Bad habits and multiple negative thoughts became my identity. I loved my cats like they were my children but I wasn't living in gratitude and I was far from living in the moment.  I was in survival mode most of all. This was my first crack at "living in the real world" with real world expenses, clearly it wasn't that way for long as it all came crashing down a year later.

Why go back in time for a moment?  Because chances are we all have old habits that we broke or started decades ago. We've learned a lot since then. Hopefully you are further ahead today, but some of us may have simply repeated the same decade twice since then. Looking back on where we came from can have an impact on us in either a positive or a negative way. We don't live in the past, but the past has helped to shape us. Back then, I know that I didn't live in the moment. I hadn't learned about personal growth & I was living the habits that I had created, only to keep doing them day after day. I took my fiance for granted and assumed he would always be right there beside me to embrace me for all my quirks and also accept me even with my bad habits I had created for myself. Perhaps we created those bad habits together...it is likely common for spouses to not only take one another for granted but to also go through life feeding off one another's habits (good or bad). We are the sum of the 5 people we spend the most time with, so we can often take on other people's habits even when we don't realize it is happening.

So what makes this year any different?  Well time is still going fast, but what I realized recently is that when we allow routines and busy schedules to be the excuse for so much that we may be missing...especially "I have no time for self care" excuses or "I have no time to be present with my children each day". When we do this we are missing the point for what living is.  And I personally have a lot more to learn and a long way to go, but baby steps are making a massive shift for me already in the first few weeks of a new decade.  My hope is that you are also mindful of the changes that you have the power to make to improve your own quality of life.

Even with the schedule, the kids sports, my husband's work schedule, my business calls and appointments and so much more, I've had to recommit to what I promised that I would do last year (that I didn't)...self care and being in the moment!

Yup, that is it...without self care, we drain our own battery and when this happens, we have little left to give our loved ones or anyone else. We can grow resentful of others, we can create stories that don't serve us and we can push the very people that we love, away.

If we are not in the moment, we let the moment slip by and this can often become a time when we say, "I don't even remember how that massage felt because I was talking the whole time or I was too much in my head thinking about what is next after the massage is over" or "I don't remember you saying that to me" because when my child spoke to me, I was trying to multitask to get it all done (ex. return the text from a business partner, while getting dinner started).

We all have so much going on, but something that remains true...this busy time in our lives will eventually be replaced with silence. Some days I beg for silence. We likely all do at some point. But today I was reminded by a friend who has kids that are off to post secondary school...that in a flash, our kids grow up, our schedules change almost without warning.  The hustle and bustle that makes our years fly by, stops in a heartbeat. Boom, just completely stopped. This can be hard. Very hard and I haven't gone through it yet, but I know that I will. Without rushing things and without worrying about the future, I have simply decided to be better today.

Obviously I am writing this as a parent for parents, but we can all take something from this even for those who do not have children.  What are you doing for self care?  Are you actually staying in the moment as much as you can? 

Being mindful of this can help, but it isn't everything because with all habits, we can easily slip into the old thinking, the old routines that have us rushing on to the next thing.  One day we can be aware and in the moment and the next day can catch us off guard and we didn't remain in the moment once.

Today, I had a bit of time (self-care time), as before any flight I take I like to reflect and take time to appreciate those I love and care about. (clearly I took a bit of time to write this too). Today I am reminded of just how lucky that I am. January 2020 has started out a whole lot better than January 2000 did. I have been very conscious of my age, my strength, my health, my marriage and my children's well being.  These are a few things I've been able to successfully incorporate into my daily routines and as I do these, perhaps these are areas that you wish to focus on in the next decade too. They are in no particular order.

1. Fitness every single day (no excuses). Coming from a person who hasn't enjoyed working out since the 1990s, this is a BIG deal.  I've removed all barriers. No gym membership required. No fancy gym set up in my basement. Just 20-30 minutes of dedication to myself to get my heart-rate up and my muscles engaged.  I do a variety of workouts from HIIT to strength training to "fight-club" to yoga and stretching, cardio and so much more variety. I love that I've found something that keeps changing it up daily.  (I also feel grateful that I've found pre, during and post workout products that help me stay on track without making it hard to walk after each workout)
2. Quality time with my kids. This is always a work in progress because as their needs change, I do my best to roll with it.  Reading with my kids, giving them foot, head or back massages, having solid bedtime routines has become a great way to end our days.  I stopped forcing myself to get on business calls in the evening so that I can be 100% focused on them. I am also incorporating "quality time together" days. Having 3 children all around the same age can be great, but also kids can become competitive with wanting quality time. So once per month, having quality time with one child at a time is the goal. Being in the moment 100% of that time is also key. No texting, scrolling, phoning during this time we will schedule each month.
3. Technology for my kids. Well 20 years ago I wasn't attached to a cell phone that could be a window to the world at any time of day or night. I am pretty sure you were not either.  I do believe that technology advancements are great and at the same time it can be our nemesis. We become addicted to it. It comes before other things at times. We get texts and we think we have to look at them immediately even if we are in a deep conversation with someone else. How "in the moment" is that?  Since the end of 2019 our youngest (8 years old) hasn't had access to any wireless device. Her brain is developing right now and from some research I've done lately, I am finding that there is no real benefit to her having access to that device on a daily basis. There are far more interesting and healthy things she can be doing to explore her world without the need for technology being available anytime.  My other two children who are older do have a bit of access - as many of their projects in school require them to be researching online and submitting assignments online. But their reach has become much smaller. They don't have endless hours of access to online games and videos like they did last year. And you know what, they stopped begging for it. It is no longer a habit for any of them. 
4. Technology for me. (and my husband). 8:00pm comes around and my technology is off. Airplane mode, no wifi allowed for me past that time and what a great gift.  You see in 2019 I got into the habit of playing "brain" games on my phone while I was shutting down for the night. When I wasn't playing games I would go to google and see the news headlines that I "subscribed to" in order to catch up on what was going on in the world.  I would not get off until 9:30 or 10 at times and then I would roll over and try to go to sleep.  Nope, not this year.  A few years ago I was in such a great habit of getting off technology and would read something inspiring or motivational (personal growth) before I would go to bed.  That was when my mindset was so strong, I was happy and thriving. The "playing games or reading the news" was clearly NOT best for my brain before bed...because now I am 3 weeks in of getting back to reading amazing books before bed and turning wifi off by 8:00pm and I can say I am sleeping a whole lot better and I feel more refreshed.  Some nights I also enjoy a hot bath with lavender with my book (and once again I have many books on the go at once, because it depends what I am in the mood to read each night - right now it is between the book Becoming Supernatural by Dr. Joe Dispenza, or Nothing Changes until you do by Mike Robbins;  among a few others.
5. Self care commitments - I've returned to getting chiropractor adjustments and massages this month and I continue to get my osteopath appointments monthly too. Getting to the float tank will be on the agenda after my flight and I plan to get back to that each and every month as I move forward. Taking my vitamins and supplements (my absolute fav being Isagenesis), are also on my agenda for this year and eating right 80% of the time is always my goal.
6. Among the self care improvements, something I've realized is that alcohol isn't great for my body. Through the summer last year I drank a lot more often than I'd like to admit and I also gained a lot more weight through that time. Every time I drank any alcohol through Christmas vacation last month, I realized how horrible it made me feel. Even one glass of wine with dinner would make me feel unwell and my heart seemed to do weird things. I enjoyed some drinks with friends on New Year's Eve, but I quickly found myself almost wasting a day in bed to recover...so on Jan 1st I decided to try to go a month without a drop of alcohol. And here were are on Jan 20th and I am feeling better than ever.  I may not ever need a drink again. Not saying I didn't enjoy a drink now and then socially, but aside from it bringing me out of my shell a bit, there was no real benefit. To drink socially is normal - it was my normal and as I make this new decade my healthiest yet, I am really focused on making a new normal. Some moments are harder than others, because in really social situations it is much easier for me to have a drink or two to take the edge off...so I know I may come up against some social moments when I believe having a drink would be the easy way to cope with something social, but for anyone reading this today, thanks for helping me know that being myself without alcohol is ok too, even if it feels really awkward for me or for you at first.
   
7. Date night - this is something my husband and I get really great at and then sometimes months go by and we've let it slip again. Once per week is the goal, but minimum 1 time per month. Happy to report we managed to get one in last weekend with some friends.
   

Well that was a long blog today. Clearly I had a few things to get out of my heart and into this "online", easy to access, page in cyberworld...but hey, if anything I wrote today helps just one person become more mindful of something or if something I say makes you feel less alone...than I believe that I've done something good to pass on.

We are all a work in progress and when we embrace where we have been, when we recognize where we are and we look forward with ambition and awe for where we are heading...all while remaining grateful for all of it...we can remind ourselves to slow down enough to be in the moment as much as we can be - even throughout the chaos of life.

Don't let another year fly by where you ask yourself, "why and how did that year go so fast...did I blink or did I live?"  The gift about life is living.  Loving, living and being able to say, I felt that, I experienced that, I enjoyed that and I am living each moment and choosing each moment, without rushing to the next one.

💙 I have a double chin when I laugh too hard
💙 I lost my post baby weight 3 times and I’ve gained 30 pounds since my youngest child started school 
💙 I get stressed, frustrated and cranky even though I take time almost everyday to do personal growth 
💙 I have a messy house -often
💙 I don’t always make the healthiest meals for my family even though I represent the most amazing health and wellness company
💙 sometimes I drink too much and feel terrible the next day
💙 my kids give me attitude and talk back to me sometimes
💙 I get so tired that I often go to bed when my kids do
💙 my kids sometimes play too long on their devices because it gave me uninterrupted time to get something done
💙 I still haven’t made fitness a priority
💙 I don’t go to church or believe in organized religion and I believe that I am still a good person and I never judge others for their choices
💙I have debts that continue to build and I’ve even had times when bill collectors call me because I’ve missed a payment
💙I struggle to make ends meet and sometimes wonder if I should return to my teaching career
💙 my business goes through ups and downs and I wouldn’t trade any of it, it’s all part of the process
💙 I have a heart of service and treat everyone as an equal and believe everyone is worthy of my time, even if it goes against what I’ve been told to do by some mentors
💙 I’ve been caught in gossip, judgement, and may have even been the one to start it at times
💙 I have been so strong willed that my ego takes over and seeks to be right and I’ve lost relationships that were important to me because of it
💙 I have taken others for granted and that never ends well
💙 I’ve yelled at my kids, I’ve cried with my kids, I’ve laughed with my kids and I’ve learned more than ever with my kids 
💙 I’m not perfect and nor am I trying to be
💙I know that life is what we make of it and as we remember this...we can take ourselves less seriously and enjoy even the moments that make us feel less than...we are all human...and we will always be perfectly imperfect humans 
💙 true connection comes when we can relate to others, imperfections and all
💙 you are perfectly imperfect and I respect and admire your real-ness...don’t ever think you have to be perfect to be loved!

How powerful is the word, DECISION or DECIDE?  For me, I've known it is one of the most powerful words (on par with Love and Believe), because without making a decision, we easily let indecision lead us and it doesn't go the way we hoped.  Hoping for a different result isn't even close to making a different result happen.  In order to create a different result in an area of our life, we must first make a decision that it is time. The second and possibly equally important step is actually taking the action required to follow through on our decision.

So what areas of your life are you currently allowing indecision to rule you? Have you got a health goal? A relationship goal? A business/career goal? A weight loss/weight gain goal? A fitness goal? A travel goal? A cash positive goal? (I believe that when we focus on what it is we want, it is better for our brain...instead of saying, a goal to pay off debt, I like to say I have a goal to become cash positive).  The first thought that comes, is your truth...now write it down. What was your first thought for a goal you've been indecisive about? Now write down all the reasons you've been stuck, not making the decision you know that you have deserved to make for a long time now? Once we can be honest about why we are not willing to decide to make a change, we can recognize the reasons (or excuses) as valid...and also thank them for showing up and allowing ourselves to release them.

My personal testimonial is a vulnerable one...possibly more information than I ever thought I would share in one area of my life for now (I have many other areas of decision that are harder to express just yet).

Some people reading this will know my story...some will not, so I will write this in a way that makes sense to everyone reading it.

When I started my health and wellness journey in 2009, I remember my decision day as clear as anything.  It was September 1st and my kids deserved a healthier mom than I was at that time.  I had a 2 year old and a 6 month old (our 3rd baby wasn't here yet). Within 6 weeks of me making a decision I had successfully released 25 pesky pounds and I felt better than ever.  I managed to maintain that feeling until I became pregnant with our 3rd child a year and a half later. The great thing was that even through my 3rd pregnancy, I continued to be very healthy. My metabolism was incredible, it was as if my new way of being had finally caught on and I wore my rings throughout my entire pregnancy...not a bit of water retention and my 3rd trimester was through the summer (many ladies know what I mean when I say this can be rare). My doctor even gave me permission to fly 5 hours one way (so 10 hours for the total return trip) within 6 weeks of my due date as she said I was healthier during that pregnancy than I had ever been in my previous other two.

Fast forward to the birth of our 3rd little miracle.  Everything was going great. Baby was healthy, other two kids were doing well.  Hannah was 4 (and starting JK every other day), Jack was 2.5 and still at home with me and Kate was a newborn.

I will not complain at all about the craziness of parenthood...because I was once dreaming of the day I would be a mom. However, I will be real.  Having 3 kids within 4 years was CRAZY! I think of it now (that they are 10, 9 and 6) and can completely understand why my health took a back seat during that time.

As demands increased at home with the kids, my home based business grew as well...it was booming. Within a few short years I almost doubled my husband's full time salary as a full time police officer (*results not typical) and he had worked for almost 3 decades by that point.  Trying to keep everything together, trying to be everything to everyone, I began to let my own health needs slip.  I became extremely stressed out, my thyroid and adrenals were struggling to support me, I sought private medical care through a naturopath and before I knew it 30 pounds or more crept on causing me to be very self critical, embarrassed and wanting to avoid all social and business interactions.  I became depressed, tired and unhappy.

Present Day (as I write this in July 2018)

My internal thoughts:
"It's summertime my favourite time of the year! Oh Sh*t, that means pool parties, friends, family, and our company's annual convention."  When I was at my optimal health and body weight, I was excited, I was raring to go all the time. Bring it on! Socials, BBQs and business events.  But a week ago I was devastated.

More internal thoughts: "I feel like such a failure.  Why can't I get my weight off? Why do I keep gaining weight? Why are my clothes shrinking? Seriously can this really be what happens when we turn 40? But I use Isagenix and have used it for almost 9 years now. What must people think?  They must think Isagenix doesn't work.  I have done this business helping others with Isagenix, why can't I help myself?  What a fraud I am." (and these were the tamer thoughts inside my head)

The day that broke my self loathing, pity party....I wish I had taken a photo, but I have a record of it on my fitbit app (I have a scale connected to my fitbit app), so it will never be forgotten. This day was just a few days ago.  Sunday, July 8th. As my son was being tucked into bed, he asked how much my husband weighs (he was curious as he is now reaching a new size for a lifejacket). My husband answered him and they did the math to see how much more weight daddy was than Jack was...he was enjoying the "math". So next question was, "mommy, how much do you weigh?".  I was generous by saying 160lbs (to make it a nice even number), but that day I actually weighed in at 161.6 pounds and I said it with a smile to not show him my disappointment because I don't ever want my kids to get an unhealthy attitude or obsession around weight.  As I walked back to my room, my husband followed and he said, "you are not 160lbs".  I turned to him and said, no I am actually almost 162. Feeling so upset with myself for indulging that day with family (beautiful bbq with snacks and cold drinks while we enjoyed the pool)...I started to realize that on top of being 41, on top of not being very active, on top of eating and drinking what I felt like (most of the time)...I knew that I had to make a decision. And that decision HAD to be for the right reasons or I would NEVER make it last.

The next day, I reconnected my fitbit (and I put it on).  Part of me was always afraid to use it, because I don't want to have to track my every move. I didn't want to become addicted (like I've seen others), to hitting those 10,000 steps (especially since if I am up and clapping at a business event...it will add to my steps and not be an accurate number). I didn't want a day under 10,000 to make me feel like another failure...I've already done enough of that self talk long enough.  I also reconnected to My Fitness Pal and Map My Ride (and I love that it can scan barcodes, that I can upload recipes I find online, I can log my own recipes and all of my Isagenix foods are in that app too.  It is a great system.  However, much like my thoughts on using the fitbit again...I was afraid that I would find myself wasting a ton of time logging my foods (I've tried and failed to log my food many times so why would this time be different), making sure I have the right combo of macros and that I was tracking all my exercise and not failing to put everything in there so that I could get a real representation of my results based on my true actions.

That day felt like another failure...stepping on the scale isn't so much fun - and I also know it isn't the best way to "feel" better and it isn't always a true representation of our health.  It said 162.7!  My jaw dropped..."but I've tried so hard to stay within my macros today. Why bother? I am doomed. Maybe I do have something medically wrong that is causing me to gain so much weight. I feel like such a failure. My 5 foot 3 stature is going to become my width before I know it"

I went to the store and found a food scale for $12. It was a bargain, because I had no idea how much they would cost and when I saw that it was on sale from $29, I knew it was a good step in the right direction.  Never wanting to have to weigh my food before, I realized that if I truly wanted a better result I had to change the way I was doing some things.  Mindless eating and drinking (alcohol) wasn't working...so why not try to start monitoring my portions more closely? I quickly saw where one of my downfalls was.  I love cheese and to cut it out cold turkey isn't something I am willing to do, however...I am willing to be more mindful of the amounts I do eat.  So when I weighted an ounce of the most amazing old Beemster cheese and I logged it into my food diary, I saw that it really bumped up my fat content for the day and I knew that this awareness will help me so much as I move forward.  

One of the things I want to say is I really do want to get back to my optimal weight, and I also don't want to be so extreme with my lifestyle that I can't enjoy the foods I love most.  I want to still live with balance and never obsession.  A glass of great red wine and my favourite old cheese will still be a treat and I never want to feel guilty or stressed when it comes to food. However, recognizing some things I had taken for granted (or lived without mindfulness with regards to food) has had consequences.

Another area of massive awareness was water intake. I assumed I was drinking enough water, but the first day I logged it, I had only 3 cups of water (which I realized was my norm). The second day I logged it, I got 9 oz over my recommendation.  Today I am writing this at 11:30am and I have already had half of my daily recommendation and I have even gone for a bike ride before 8:00am. Sometimes being accountable to ourselves (even through the use of an app that works for us), not only helps us make new habits, it can help us feel better about ourselves too!

I don't believe that being obsessed about these apps online is what is it all about, although I can see that at the beginning of starting a new mindfulness approach to prepping meals can be both helpful and can also seem obsessive at the start. It can make the most eager among us want to quit just to save time (and money). 

I made some wonderful things yesterday and the thought of making more balanced and fresh meals again today makes me feel a bit overwhelmed because it is a completely different way to shop and prepare. When we get busy, it is easy to fall into the same unhealthy ruts we've been in, because they became a habit for so long. I personally have always been a meat and potato girl. Making roasts, rich sauces etc. Eating mindful and more aware must become our new habit if we want lasting change and making the decision for me was a BIG deal. Habits don't change overnight and they don't happen until we decide we are going to make them happen. Without that decision...I would never start the new way towards my health and my family's health. Today my scale showed that I was down 2.4lbs.  It is not something I will obsess about, but in all honesty seeing the scale move in a positive direction gave me some hope.  My goal is to get back to my ideal weight, which for me at 5 ft 3, is 130. It may not happen as fast as I want it to, but I know that because I've now made a decision and I am taking action, I will reach my goal and I will enjoy the journey (even though as times I will feel discouraged or indulge too much). I am a human, just like you are.  And we all have times when we know that we can improve, when we know it is ok to fall down and times when we know when it is time to get back up and move in the direction of our dreams again.

So whatever it is that you are ready to make a decision on...start by asking what makes you want to change. If it is an emotional answer, that will help you move.  There is movement in emotion...so let it get raw, let yourself FEEL the frustration, sadness, determination and I hope that you will share your goals, your moments of decision with me...because human to human...when we can be open, honest and real about it all, we learn how similar we are to others.  We are not alone in our struggles, in our triumphs and we are supported by more people than we know...if only we will be transparent and vulnerable enough to let people in!

Warning that these are my deep thoughts and it’s a bit long...but if you read to the end I know that you will be part of the solution with me.

With the recent news of celebrities taking their own lives this week, I was seeing a lot of judgement on social media, as if others know what they might have been going through when they made the final decision to do what they did.

When so many of us question why people are taking their own lives when we see them as successful...maybe it’s time we stop putting people on a pedestal and remember we are ALL human and we ALL have struggles to overcome. Perhaps (not saying this is true) those in the spotlight, have an even harder time being heard for their challenges...because we all know how it goes...many just don’t believe or care when someone says “I’m struggling”.

I’ll be transparent for a moment...when I was going through my own downward spiral, most people who knew me as bubbly and happy go lucky, began to turn a blind eye because as I was completely public about it all through my blog (as my own healing)...people didn’t like it. I was criticized by some of my closest friends to stop being public about it...but why? To make it easier on them to not have to see that I was struggling? I’m still carrying resentment about some who began treating me differently back then...as if they somehow lost respect for me for being so raw and real.

Maybe if we were more open about it, we would heal faster, I know that I feel that it helped me heal and I know that my transparency helped others who were feeling isolated and alone as they struggled in silence.

So turning a blind eye seems easiest, but all it does is makes it intensify the s&*@ people go through when they are down.

These moments can take weeks, months, years, decades to heal from. Sadly I still hear things such as, “they should snap out of it already” or “is it all for show, for attention?” These comments make me want to vomit. How inconsiderate of people to judge others when they are struggling...and if we are fortunate to know when someone is struggling...it’s because the person is asking for support and help...they don’t want to be another statistic that fell into suicide. Suicide has such a negative reaction....”how selfish of them to leave a child” etc...when if we all stopped to really imagine how bad it must have been for them...a person in the right frame of mind would not ever leave their loved ones behind and take their own life -NEVER! So instead of thinking how selfish they are, let’s help those struggling feel supported. Peer support often gets lost and then people are expected to seek medical attention or professional support...but if we could all just hold space for those suffering and respect them as HUMAN beings who are suffering...I believe we’d see less suicide!
The stigma around mental illness and personal struggles is sick...and it is up to ALL of us to make a change!

Reach out to someone NOW who you personally know is struggling. Your kindness may just be the gift they needed today, in this VERY MOMENT!

Obviously there are all different severities...but it doesn’t make one person any less important. Depression, anxiety, PTSD, bipolar and other mental health challenges are nothing to ignore. Let’s all be part of the solution, instead of adding to the devastating reality we’ve all created!

Something to consider as we move forward each day. You know who the "strong" people are, those who say they are always doing fine, but deep down they are not, but they don’t want to burden anyone or admit they are not ok, ego and pride often try to protect people.

I’ve felt it at times with friends who are doing the “strong” thing and when I dig deeper I find out they really needed to talk about more than surface stuff.

How often do we actually take the time to dig deeper, to listen at a level that allows depth?

I am a 41 one year old mother of 3, married for 13 years to the love of my life who has been a police officer now for 32 years. When we met, I was an elementary school teacher in Ontario (OCT, ETFO). I taught all grades from kindergarten through to grade 8, for 9 years. After having my 2nd child I knew I wanted to stay home and I had a gift show up in my life (which was a network marketing business), and for the last 8.5 years of being in business for myself, I've been able to stay home with my kids for the past 7 years and it has been such a blessing for so many reasons. My oldest is 10 and my youngest (of 3) is now 6.

When I was a teacher, however...I knew that I loved being with the children, but it was the politics that had me concerned. I always laced all my lessons (and also focused dedicated time each day) on self-esteem, confidence, belief in self and how we could contribute to others locally and around the world. I still remember how much that specific class (when I started having political stuff affect us), was so heartfelt, always helping others, always thinking of more ways to be even better than yesterday. Apparently some of the most difficult kids in the school were in my class that year, and they were the sweetest kids ever, never having behaviour issues when I taught them. They were all so joyful. One child did say, the first day of class as we were all introducing one another, “I am a bad kid”. I got down to his level and said, I doubt that you are, I believe that you are a very kind and a very nice kid. And I never saw a bad kid once in him. I still believe I helped them find belief in themselves to feel more joyous. However, I was a new teacher and didn't have children of my own yet, my belief in myself was getting stronger, but I didn’t know how to stand up and use my voice when I was forced to. I had a bully teacher who was in the classroom beside me. She was a union rep and she was always questioning me about my focus and my lessons. How did what I was teaching about self-respect, self-belief and self-love have anything to do with the Ontario curriculum? I was extremely sad that she was even questioning my reasons for this. Sadly that was the same year I experienced my first miscarriage, I felt so stressed from the constant judgement and I decided that teaching in the public education system was NOT where I belonged. If I can't teach about the most important parts (in my opinion) for our children to learn and grow and be happy with themselves as they grow up...than I didn't think "teaching" was for me after all.

As I began to build my own network marketing business I quickly found out, this was where I belonged, because without the politics, I was able to nurture, support and guide others through self growth, reflection, self-love, self-respect and belief in self (among others). And although I was now teaching/mentoring adults, this was spilling over into their lives with their precious children and youth. I finally felt that I was doing my part again, I was contributing to something I believe wholeheartedly in. This began to overflow into my own family life, I gained the confidence to finally be myself, not doing things the way 'politics' asked me to be. My children benefited and they still do. They are growing up in an environment now that is more positive, that nurtures self-development and we are a family that believes we are students for life. Always learning, always growing, always contributing to others.

I will not lie and say that business life is perfect, without its share of politics, because it isn’t true. However, for me...I don’t feel as confined within set regulations and provincial objectives. I no longer have to question my reasons, because I know 100% that anything I do, anything that I share/teach is because I have decided that I am aligned with it and I practice what I preach, not because I am told I must teach it or that I must do things a certain way. In business, it is something I began to fall into...that feeling of someone being in control over my needs/beliefs etc...but after some reflection, some self-discovery and a whole lot of self-growth again...I remembered who I am and who I am not. And that self-discovery helped me to have a pivot once again, so that I can continue to soar and help others do the same. Some of you know about my vision for Moral Compass Kids, I haven't given up on Moral Compass Kids, this is something that hasn’t left my mind since it first appeared over 2 years ago now. I think about it daily, I see it as reality.

I know that at times when we go through challenges, we will either learn and grow from them or repeat them to get the lesson. The tough lessons for me, forced me to make a decision and pivot…and that pivot back in 2005, took me until 2010 to really take action to have the courage to step away from my title as “teacher” and fully embrace life as an entrepreneur…but it was in 2015 when I was faced with another pivot and it has taken me until 2018 to REALLY understand the power I’ve gained from this pivot in all areas of my life. My voice is mine and I am so grateful that I am able to help others find their voice also – no matter how old or how young they are.
We can all be empowered, if we decide to embrace the power we truly have inside us. When we believe it, we will see it and when we share it - everything changes for the better. Empowerment isn’t anything about being better than anyone else, it isn’t even about ego...it is about our gifts inside that are hiding for most of us...just begging to be seen, to be heard, to be shared with the world!

I believe you have EVERYTHING inside you, to make a massive impact! Do you?

I certainly don't claim to be an artist, but my hope is that this stick figure image of a person trying to juggle while on a boat in the middle of a storm will have you thinking for a moment how this might reflect upon your life.  Have you ever felt so focused at keeping several "balls" in the air all while feeling that everything is coming at you, trying to knock you over just long enough to come crashing down, while the weight of the balls fall on you just for extra "effect"?

Well the whole purpose for this blog entry today is to hopefully create hope and inspiration within the chaos!

Last month I was at an event for my business and my mentor (since day 1) came up with the phrase, "you built your business successfully during a time as if you were juggling in a hurricane".  I later found out that as he thought of my business journey, that phrase simply came to him on the spot. Interesting that it represented my thoughts on my past 7.5 years, so well.

We all know what it is like to be busy. We understand when we have a plan and something happens to change it, what that feels like.  We know how it feels to want something SO BAD that we would be willing to do whatever it takes to make it happen.  We also know how it feels to be so tired we feel like giving up.

This is a story of persistence, patience, determination and gratitude. One that I hope will inspire you to keep moving, despite the feelings of overwhelm and defeat.

When I began my business in the company I have been aligned with since July 2009, I knew this was it.  This was my chance to create my own freedom, my own reality.  At that point in my life I had a 20 month old and a 4 month old. My dream was to stay home with them rather than returning to a teaching career that didn't feel good anymore.

In September of 2009, I realized that the products that I said yes to just a few months prior - were the very products that would help me not only be the healthiest I'd been but that they would be the foods that I would help others enjoy too.  This combination became the ingredients to the best decision I made for my family - the decision to be an entrepreneur.

Being an entrepreneur sounds great - it is. However, why do so many people choose to be an employee?  Well maybe because being an entrepreneur isn't a guarantee for success. Maybe because it takes working harder for yourself than you ever do for your boss. Maybe because people will ridicule you, talk behind your back, judge your choices and create their own assumptions about your reasons to join a network marketing company.  Maybe it is simply because you don't think you could do it.  There are many other reasons why people say no way...not for me. And I was almost that person.  Thankfully I changed my mind.

During the first 1000 days, it was fun and damn hard.  Sleepless nights, waking up every 2-4 hours to nurse my baby. Having two children at home full time day and night with no breaks until they would nap (I was lucky if they would naps at the same time - which was rare).  I had my 3rd baby during those first 1000 days also...and as we were about to have our 3rd child, we bought and sold a house to move to a bigger place. Shortly after our move, our 3rd little miracle was born.  Now two toddlers and an infant, and a shift working husband who was called out often with his K9 to search for all sorts of people doing all sorts of things.  Trying to keep 3 children quiet in a house with a shift working spouse, isn't exactly an easy thing to do. Our eldest daughter was 4 and she began school that year (part-time). So a few days per week she was out of the house, while I still worked my business in the pockets of my time between feedings, diaper changes, walks to and from school, meal planning, playgroups and lessons and the list goes on.

Despite the craziness, I was determined to be successful at helping others. And by the 1000th day I had found myself in a place of earning 6 figures that year and every year since.  How? Determination amongst the chaos. Never making my children the excuse, but making them my reason.  Doing what I could do with the blocks of time I had that day and never beating myself up when I didn't do everything I hoped to.  

Mentors recommended that I hire someone to babysit my children for a few hours a day...but I'll be honest, this wasn't an option to me, I wanted to raise my children and never miss a first.  When I was still teaching, I missed seeing my oldest daughter take her first few steps when she was at the daycare provider's home.  It wasn't negotiable, I was going to be there for all the firsts, all the trips, all the broken bones and scrapes. I was not willing to put my children in daycare for any length of time.  I was building this business for them so that I could be home with them.  (ps. if you are reading this and do believe in having hired help for your kids, I am not judging you or saying it is wrong at all...but it wasn't the right choice for me)

What is possible, truly possible and how is it possible?  Here are a few of my tips that helped me reach my goals while having babies AND building a solid foundation for my business.

1. Decide - My D-Day was September 1, 2009.  I knew that VERY DAY, that I was going to do this, NO MATTER WHAT. No matter what others said, no matter how hard it would be, not even my husband's negative assumptions were going to stop me (he didn't understand my vision for 18 months - he thought I was crazy to think this business would one day replace my teaching salary)
2. Believe - My corporation was born 1000 days after my decision day and I named it: See it when you BELIEVE it Inc. Belief has so much to do with success in everything we do in life.  Here's an example.  When my husband and I were told we only had a 2% chance of conceiving our own biological children we were crushed.  But I never doubted for a moment that we would one day have our own children. I even bought a 2 year subscription to a parenting magazine months before we conceived our first of three children. (without fertility support).  I knew that the only way that I would succeed in this business was that I had to have 100% belief it was possible.
3. Do the work - Some people who say yes to this business have good intentions, but I'll be honest, the majority (yes I said it), 80-90% of everyone with good intentions NEVER start or NEVER continue to do the work.  Why?  Well, some may think it should be easier. Some don't make a decision.  Some don't believe it is possible.  Some simply use every excuse in the book about why they don't have the time.  Guess what?  I had the time...I made good use of the limited time I had each day.  Sometimes it was 15 minutes, other times I was thrilled that I got a whole 2 hours.  I did what I could and forgave myself when I couldn't.  There is nothing that makes me more sad than when someone gives up on their dreams soooooo soon, when they really haven't even put much time into it consistently.  
4. Consistency - YES THIS IS SO IMPORTANT!  Like with everything...if we do it sometimes but not each day, we don't "build the muscle".  I often hear people say, "I have 4 hours to touch my business on Friday afternoon but I have no time the rest of the week."  But what I know about this business and anything worthwhile pursuing/building...it takes consistency everyday.  In my opinion it is better to find 30-120 minutes per day than it is to find 4 hours in one day only. I also know that this business is a lifestyle business.  As I live life I do business and as I do business I live life...so in my humble opinion I feel that I have to work harder "not" to touch my business, than I do to touch my business.  It isn't my entire life, but it is a big part of who I am.  Many people who build this business assume it is separate from them. I believe that like with anything we are passionate about, we embody it.  When we embody what we are passionate about - it becomes a part of us.

As I complete this today, my hope for you is that you always remember, nothing will ever be perfect.  One of the best pieces of advice I received from a coach in my first year in business was: "you can NEVER predict what will happen at all times, business is never perfect".  I tried to book my coaching sessions during nap time...and I would stress so much when it didn't go as planned.  He reminded me that if I am looking for it to be perfect, I might as well stop now as it will never be. He also reminded me that measuring my success against imperfections, chaos and lack of structure in my day as a mom-preneaur is not going to help me, it will only hurt me from continuing.  So from that day on...I've continued to do the business as I live my life.  I have focused time when I can and try to roll with the changes as they come.  I am grateful for this amazing opportunity and am so happy that I can help others looking to create the same type of success - MORE CHOICES in life.

Juggling in a hurricane might not sound very fun - and I certainly wouldn't want to try it in "real life", but a part of me is grateful that I've experienced the hardships, the challenges and the joys of staying true to myself and my family - to create something that continues to grow each day.  I almost quit a few times, but I knew that if I did, not only would I let myself down, I would be the reason that many others wouldn't have the same opportunity as me (if they wanted it).  I also knew that giving up on this dream also meant giving up on my family and our dreams together.

All the best as you continue to juggle in the storms of life!

Title inspired by: PK Smith

There is a lot of free info and a very helpful e-book on Adrenal Fatigue on https://adrenalfatiguesolution.com.