My Path to COMPLETE wellness
In October of 2015, I knew something desperately needed to change. I didn't feel myself, I began to get really angry, sadness took over, resentment and so many more negative emotions and states of mind were seeming to take over. I even found myself in places of rage and I knew this was NOT normal for me. Nor was it a sign of getting older - or I certainly hoped it wasn't. I knew that everyone I loved and cared for, deserved so much better than what I was "showing up" as each day. I finally also recognized that I deserved to honour myself and change the things I didn't like...most of all how I was treating me.
I decided to do what helps me so much. I find peace in writing and I realized that what I write may become a larger tool than one just for me. As I focus on getting better, perhaps this could become a tool for you or someone that you know. I believe that even the darkest moments in our life bring us the brightest possibilities. Before you move ahead to see if this applies to you or someone that you care about, please understand that if you feel a sense of judgement about what you read or of the videos I share or the simple fact that you don't agree with me opening up in this format, this may be something that you've not dealt with in your own journey. If this is odd to you, strange that I am making my struggles and my healing public this way - this is a reflection on your own opinion and how you choose to live your own life. I realize now more than ever that being vulnerable and open (although it is far from easy), is the way that I choose to heal and help others heal. I am not looking for approval or acceptance. Maybe what I share here in these pages will become a tool for another person's healing.
FEAR and the symptoms that it brings:
As I open up and even consider sharing this, I am experiencing the following physical symptoms (they have been common and now I am taking time to understand why these physical symptoms may be happening). Even though this is uncomfortable I know that many great things come from feeling the "fear and doing it anyway".
If you believe that our body is a sign of something more that is going on within us, than you will appreciate some of the things I've referred to here as per Louise Hay's book called, You can Heal Your Life. I have done it in order of my current symptom, the area of the body affected, and in Louise's book the Probable Cause and finally the "New Thought Pattern" (affirmation)
I decided to do what helps me so much. I find peace in writing and I realized that what I write may become a larger tool than one just for me. As I focus on getting better, perhaps this could become a tool for you or someone that you know. I believe that even the darkest moments in our life bring us the brightest possibilities. Before you move ahead to see if this applies to you or someone that you care about, please understand that if you feel a sense of judgement about what you read or of the videos I share or the simple fact that you don't agree with me opening up in this format, this may be something that you've not dealt with in your own journey. If this is odd to you, strange that I am making my struggles and my healing public this way - this is a reflection on your own opinion and how you choose to live your own life. I realize now more than ever that being vulnerable and open (although it is far from easy), is the way that I choose to heal and help others heal. I am not looking for approval or acceptance. Maybe what I share here in these pages will become a tool for another person's healing.
FEAR and the symptoms that it brings:
As I open up and even consider sharing this, I am experiencing the following physical symptoms (they have been common and now I am taking time to understand why these physical symptoms may be happening). Even though this is uncomfortable I know that many great things come from feeling the "fear and doing it anyway".
If you believe that our body is a sign of something more that is going on within us, than you will appreciate some of the things I've referred to here as per Louise Hay's book called, You can Heal Your Life. I have done it in order of my current symptom, the area of the body affected, and in Louise's book the Probable Cause and finally the "New Thought Pattern" (affirmation)
- short breaths, feeling that I can't catch my breath - (lungs) Depression, grief. Fear of taking in life. Not feeling worthy of living life fully. "I have the capacity to take in the fullness of life. I lovingly live life to the fullest."
- headache (first one I've had in a long time) - (head) Invalidating the self. Self-criticism. Fear. "I love and approve of myself. I see myself and what I do with eyes of love. I am safe."
- throat tightness/as if I am choking, cannot seem to clear my throat. - (throat) Avenue of expression. Channel of creativity. "I open my heart and sing the joys of love"
- nauseous - (stomach) Fear. Rejecting an idea or experience. "I am safe. I trust the process of life to bring only good to me."
- mild heartburn - (chest/throat) Fear.Fear.Fear. Clutching Fear. "I breathe freely and fully. I am safe. I trust the process of life."
- thyroid - (I am currently taking a natural product prescribed by my naturopathic doctor. Through this process, I have learned that my thyroid is not working properly, as I await test results I know that there is always a reason why a part of our body goes through challenges. A form of dis-ease.) Humiliation. "I never get to do what I want to do. When is it going to be my turn. "I move beyond old limitations and now allow myself to express freely and creatively."
My journey to better days began:
October 21st, 2015: I may be at the bottom right now, but I know that I can get better if I choose to get better. I have always found peace in writing and I know that this time is the same. Thank you for allowing me to share my journey with you. The moment that made me STOP and seek help and the moments from that day that helped me heal from within. Below you will find a link, step by step, each time I stopped to create a diary of my path. Today I will call day 1, even though really day 1 was the day I made the call for help. This transparency is outside my comfort zone - which may be why I am not sharing it until I am in a better place. Those who are closest to me don't need to see the pain I am in during the time, because to be honest I don't really want to be "coddled or taken care of"....I know it is UP TO ME to move through this space in time. I KNOW with each breath, that I WILL come through this stronger than I've ever been. Thank you for understanding.
October 21st, 2015: I may be at the bottom right now, but I know that I can get better if I choose to get better. I have always found peace in writing and I know that this time is the same. Thank you for allowing me to share my journey with you. The moment that made me STOP and seek help and the moments from that day that helped me heal from within. Below you will find a link, step by step, each time I stopped to create a diary of my path. Today I will call day 1, even though really day 1 was the day I made the call for help. This transparency is outside my comfort zone - which may be why I am not sharing it until I am in a better place. Those who are closest to me don't need to see the pain I am in during the time, because to be honest I don't really want to be "coddled or taken care of"....I know it is UP TO ME to move through this space in time. I KNOW with each breath, that I WILL come through this stronger than I've ever been. Thank you for understanding.
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My hope for you is that if you are someone going through similar struggles, if you are someone who is concerned about a person you care about or love that possibly my story will open up hope. I know that I may be in a place of struggle right now, but I know that I am willing to do EVERYTHING that I can to get to a better state, so I am certain (without a doubt) that I will find COMPLETE wellness (mind, body, soul) and that it is worth the TIME I will invest. You only have ONE you, please take this seriously and don't assume you can snap out of it, you WILL have to be INTENTIONAL about your wellness journey by finding the resources and practitioners that are best for you. I personally made the decision to do this in a natural way (if it is possible) and to take the position of this is 100% MY responsibility and I will not BLAME anyone else for where I am right now.
Day 1: Looking Up from the Bottom Day 12: Awareness & Reflection Day 13: Transformation Continues Day 14: A Step Back Day 17:Last minute change Day 18: A Fresh New Day Day 20: Vulnerability Day 21: Rollercoaster Day 22: Is this Possible? Day 23: Trust makes us lighter Just Decide It all Makes Sense (a month later) Snap out of it already It is NOT Business as usual A new day Ironic Isn't It? It starts with a DECISION Here I am Now Your health matters |
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