Written almost a year later - August 19, 2016

What a year it has been. And although I would look back and I could express how challenging it was, I also see it as a year of so many gifts. Gifts of perspective. Gifts of compassion and understanding. Gifts of purpose. Gifts of love and family. Gifts of awareness & gratitude. Everyday brought with it a lesson. Some lessons were tough to swallow, other lessons were reminders of the path I am choosing to take. Having greater perspective is so important...because it means that life isn't just passing by as life so often does, it is to be lived on purpose and in the moment.
The photo above is a shot of me after setting the timer on the camera that sat at the bottom of a hill near Fundy National Park (in New Brunswick, Canada), and running back up in flip flops in hopes that I could sit down in time for the timer to go off. On Facebook I shared the photo that actually worked when we were all sitting...but I must say that I like this photo so much more because it shows life in the moment as it happened. We were all laughing together at me practically losing my flip flops with each running step...only to have the photo take just before I sat down. What a fun moment. One we laughed about for a while, and then Cam stepped in to run instead.
But the reason I am sharing this photo with you on this page today is to share how much we have to enjoy the moment. Even when things are not exactly as we expected or hoped they would be. During our trip to New Brunswick last week, we left all expectations far away from us. We went with an open mind, completely unattached to making set plans, we took each day as it came and we found so many beautiful gifts in letting go of control and expectation, that we were pleasantly surprised. Being in a car with children for 2600 KMs isn't always easy, but we made it an adventure and didn't know each day what we would do...we decided as the day came.
As the past year went by so fast, as they always do...I remember having such high expectations that I would be 100% well again. My expectations and results didn't match...but at this moment my mindset is so much better. I expected that I would be 130 pounds again (my healthiest weight), instead I am sitting at my highest weight since 16 years ago, a plump 154.5 pounds. My expectations were reasonable, but I am not even close to where I wanted to be by now. My ego is so embarrassed to be sharing this, my ego doesn't want to see anyone, doesn't want to be places where people haven't seen me in a while, but my soul/my intuition knows that this is part of what makes the journey so important. Appreciating every part of the journey (even the parts that make me feel gross inside), is all about life and how it is up to us to have our mindset in check.
Do I believe that I will always be 5 foot 3 and over 150 pounds? Not at all. In fact I intend to use this as a great motivation to be even more mindful of what I am allowing into my body each day. It also helps me be mindful of the messages I am telling myself (because the past year, I have been giving myself the worst pep-talks...they've all been like this: you are not worthy, you are not enough, nobody respects you, you are not a leader, you are a failure...etc...). This also helps me reflect upon what I am allowing to affect me, stress me and the thoughts that keep me from reaching my potential in all areas of my life (fitness, energy, relationships, health, business, financial etc.)
When we hear that life is a rollercoaster, I know that we can all relate to that. Our mindset amongst all the triumphs and challenges is what keeps us in a slump or in a great place. We hear of people who overcome massive health challenges because of the mindset they have through it. I don't doubt for a minute that our mindset is often more important than anything.
As I complete this beautiful month of August (my favourite time of year), I am reminded of where I am, how far I've come and although I do make a point of planning ahead to acknowledge how far I can still go, I am reminded that living in the moment and being grateful for today is one of the best gifts we can give ourselves.
Enough beating ourselves up for where we haven't gotten to yet...let's build ourselves up every chance we get. As a great mentor has shared, your Ego is trying to keep you safe, so of course those thoughts come in about "what other people will think"...but in the end we all know that people will think what they want to about us and it isn't our business what they think. All that matters is what we think about ourselves. I could say that I am disappointed with my lack of results being where I hoped they would be by now...but instead I choose to give myself a huge pat on the back about how far I've come this past year. I wouldn't give back the learning just to be skinnier right now...I know that a healthy body is going to help me so much more, and I am grateful that I appreciate and love me for who I am now more than I ever have.
My hope for you, the person reading this, is that you will stop being hard on yourself, that you will accept yourself for exactly where you are, even if it is not what you expected. Let go of some of the pressure you have put on yourself and allow your mindset to help you more than it ever pulls you down. In all reality we will always have negative thoughts, we are not immune...but we do have a choice to believe the positive messages far more than we can give into the negative thoughts that come to us.
The photo above is a shot of me after setting the timer on the camera that sat at the bottom of a hill near Fundy National Park (in New Brunswick, Canada), and running back up in flip flops in hopes that I could sit down in time for the timer to go off. On Facebook I shared the photo that actually worked when we were all sitting...but I must say that I like this photo so much more because it shows life in the moment as it happened. We were all laughing together at me practically losing my flip flops with each running step...only to have the photo take just before I sat down. What a fun moment. One we laughed about for a while, and then Cam stepped in to run instead.
But the reason I am sharing this photo with you on this page today is to share how much we have to enjoy the moment. Even when things are not exactly as we expected or hoped they would be. During our trip to New Brunswick last week, we left all expectations far away from us. We went with an open mind, completely unattached to making set plans, we took each day as it came and we found so many beautiful gifts in letting go of control and expectation, that we were pleasantly surprised. Being in a car with children for 2600 KMs isn't always easy, but we made it an adventure and didn't know each day what we would do...we decided as the day came.
As the past year went by so fast, as they always do...I remember having such high expectations that I would be 100% well again. My expectations and results didn't match...but at this moment my mindset is so much better. I expected that I would be 130 pounds again (my healthiest weight), instead I am sitting at my highest weight since 16 years ago, a plump 154.5 pounds. My expectations were reasonable, but I am not even close to where I wanted to be by now. My ego is so embarrassed to be sharing this, my ego doesn't want to see anyone, doesn't want to be places where people haven't seen me in a while, but my soul/my intuition knows that this is part of what makes the journey so important. Appreciating every part of the journey (even the parts that make me feel gross inside), is all about life and how it is up to us to have our mindset in check.
Do I believe that I will always be 5 foot 3 and over 150 pounds? Not at all. In fact I intend to use this as a great motivation to be even more mindful of what I am allowing into my body each day. It also helps me be mindful of the messages I am telling myself (because the past year, I have been giving myself the worst pep-talks...they've all been like this: you are not worthy, you are not enough, nobody respects you, you are not a leader, you are a failure...etc...). This also helps me reflect upon what I am allowing to affect me, stress me and the thoughts that keep me from reaching my potential in all areas of my life (fitness, energy, relationships, health, business, financial etc.)
When we hear that life is a rollercoaster, I know that we can all relate to that. Our mindset amongst all the triumphs and challenges is what keeps us in a slump or in a great place. We hear of people who overcome massive health challenges because of the mindset they have through it. I don't doubt for a minute that our mindset is often more important than anything.
As I complete this beautiful month of August (my favourite time of year), I am reminded of where I am, how far I've come and although I do make a point of planning ahead to acknowledge how far I can still go, I am reminded that living in the moment and being grateful for today is one of the best gifts we can give ourselves.
Enough beating ourselves up for where we haven't gotten to yet...let's build ourselves up every chance we get. As a great mentor has shared, your Ego is trying to keep you safe, so of course those thoughts come in about "what other people will think"...but in the end we all know that people will think what they want to about us and it isn't our business what they think. All that matters is what we think about ourselves. I could say that I am disappointed with my lack of results being where I hoped they would be by now...but instead I choose to give myself a huge pat on the back about how far I've come this past year. I wouldn't give back the learning just to be skinnier right now...I know that a healthy body is going to help me so much more, and I am grateful that I appreciate and love me for who I am now more than I ever have.
My hope for you, the person reading this, is that you will stop being hard on yourself, that you will accept yourself for exactly where you are, even if it is not what you expected. Let go of some of the pressure you have put on yourself and allow your mindset to help you more than it ever pulls you down. In all reality we will always have negative thoughts, we are not immune...but we do have a choice to believe the positive messages far more than we can give into the negative thoughts that come to us.