Day 22 Is this Possible? - November 12/15
Today is SUCH a bright day for me. Not in the "actual" outside sense of bright, because today is rather rainy and overcast. But something is different about how I am feeling. I am feeling ALIVE again, as if I've just let go of so many things that have weighed me down (and to be honest in the physical sense - I have a lot of clutter in my home and some extra pounds I've gained simply because I let so many things GO in the wrong way.) Yet, even after yesterday of feeling like a rollercoaster was what I was on, I went to bed last night with a sense of peace for how far I've come in 3 weeks. I say 3 weeks because these past 3 weeks have been about FOCUS and DECISION. I was focusing on the decision I made to get better. To stop avoiding and living in survival mode (I didn't know that I was doing that until these past 24-48 hours). I began to slow down enough to listen to my inner knowing, my intuition, my own voice - rather than feeling the need to look externally for solutions.
Empowering to know that YES when we start to focus on the right things, thoughts and feelings and to make a conscious effort to create new pathways in our mind - we CAN truly heal faster than we imagined. YET, I also do recognize that I could easily go backwards to where I just came from. If I am not really careful, the old habits and patterns can easily become me again. So as much as I am feeling fantastic, I also have to be especially protective of the energy and focus I allow myself to accept for myself. More importantly (like anyone addicted to something), when I see myself going back to the way I was (as shared in this video below), I will have a decision to make about if I am willing to go back to where I NEVER want to physically and mentally go again. Easier said than done, because like with everything to learn something new - we basically have to unlearn what we've already done for so long. Unlearning is where the challenge is, because it has become our identity.
As I acknowledge myself for doing the work I deserved to do on myself, I also know that so many authors, speakers and coaches have really helped me these past few weeks. I have practically bathed in books the past few weeks. In earlier entries, I've shared a few books that I have on the go. I would be able to write an encyclopedia from all the books I have open right now, but for sake of time, I will not share them all here, but I have created a list of resources that will guide you in a way that you may find the right ones for you. I am learning so much about myself and I believe that one of the best gifts I've had in this is the TIME that I've given myself these few weeks. Many people just don't take the time required to DO THE WORK. I also recognize that the work is not done, it is a continuous journey and one that is a daily habit just like anything GREAT in life.
My business has been such a gift, because without it, I wouldn't have had this freedom to take time to work on me. So if you are in the same business as me, don't give up, you may need to take time away to focus on yourself or someone else who really needs you...and this business allows us to do that without guilt. Yes I said that, I no longer have guilt for taking the time I've deserved in order to heal.
Below the two photos I have included a video that I recorded earlier today. I stumble through getting the words out at first, but when I take time to breathe and trust that I have the words to express where I am right now, I share how I recognize that we are all in the driver's seat. We have all been 100% responsible for the identity we've created for ourselves. NOT one other person has done that for us. Therefore WE CAN change it. Possibly even easier than we assumed was possible.
I know that I am just getting started and I recognize that even though TODAY is the first day I intend to share where I am and how far I've come in a few weeks, this is NOT the final day of me getting my wellness back. I am creating a new plan, a new mind, a new me.
*I do acknowledge that we are all on a different path and I am far from perfect. I am not striving for perfection. I am however aware that each of us goes through, and grows through life, differently. My journey is one that I don't expect will be the same for anyone reading this. Our circumstances differ, the work we put into to ourselves will differ and the time we have to focus on our new habits will differ. One thing I have learned is that it is much easier to go back to the identity we've known for so long...so as I continue to move forward I will continue to be gentle with myself, to create healthy boundaries and I will continue to take the time I need to moving in this direction. I am also promising to honour myself and trust my inner voice. This is my truth and I wouldn't ever tell others what to do...yet I know in my heart that this is the way I will heal fastest - even though this will not be the way others would choose to heal.
I've personally gained so much knowledge and growth from authors who write about their struggles in their own journey. I've seen myself in many of their stories they've shared...and maybe, just maybe there is a gift for you or others in my story.
Empowering to know that YES when we start to focus on the right things, thoughts and feelings and to make a conscious effort to create new pathways in our mind - we CAN truly heal faster than we imagined. YET, I also do recognize that I could easily go backwards to where I just came from. If I am not really careful, the old habits and patterns can easily become me again. So as much as I am feeling fantastic, I also have to be especially protective of the energy and focus I allow myself to accept for myself. More importantly (like anyone addicted to something), when I see myself going back to the way I was (as shared in this video below), I will have a decision to make about if I am willing to go back to where I NEVER want to physically and mentally go again. Easier said than done, because like with everything to learn something new - we basically have to unlearn what we've already done for so long. Unlearning is where the challenge is, because it has become our identity.
As I acknowledge myself for doing the work I deserved to do on myself, I also know that so many authors, speakers and coaches have really helped me these past few weeks. I have practically bathed in books the past few weeks. In earlier entries, I've shared a few books that I have on the go. I would be able to write an encyclopedia from all the books I have open right now, but for sake of time, I will not share them all here, but I have created a list of resources that will guide you in a way that you may find the right ones for you. I am learning so much about myself and I believe that one of the best gifts I've had in this is the TIME that I've given myself these few weeks. Many people just don't take the time required to DO THE WORK. I also recognize that the work is not done, it is a continuous journey and one that is a daily habit just like anything GREAT in life.
My business has been such a gift, because without it, I wouldn't have had this freedom to take time to work on me. So if you are in the same business as me, don't give up, you may need to take time away to focus on yourself or someone else who really needs you...and this business allows us to do that without guilt. Yes I said that, I no longer have guilt for taking the time I've deserved in order to heal.
Below the two photos I have included a video that I recorded earlier today. I stumble through getting the words out at first, but when I take time to breathe and trust that I have the words to express where I am right now, I share how I recognize that we are all in the driver's seat. We have all been 100% responsible for the identity we've created for ourselves. NOT one other person has done that for us. Therefore WE CAN change it. Possibly even easier than we assumed was possible.
I know that I am just getting started and I recognize that even though TODAY is the first day I intend to share where I am and how far I've come in a few weeks, this is NOT the final day of me getting my wellness back. I am creating a new plan, a new mind, a new me.
*I do acknowledge that we are all on a different path and I am far from perfect. I am not striving for perfection. I am however aware that each of us goes through, and grows through life, differently. My journey is one that I don't expect will be the same for anyone reading this. Our circumstances differ, the work we put into to ourselves will differ and the time we have to focus on our new habits will differ. One thing I have learned is that it is much easier to go back to the identity we've known for so long...so as I continue to move forward I will continue to be gentle with myself, to create healthy boundaries and I will continue to take the time I need to moving in this direction. I am also promising to honour myself and trust my inner voice. This is my truth and I wouldn't ever tell others what to do...yet I know in my heart that this is the way I will heal fastest - even though this will not be the way others would choose to heal.
I've personally gained so much knowledge and growth from authors who write about their struggles in their own journey. I've seen myself in many of their stories they've shared...and maybe, just maybe there is a gift for you or others in my story.

On Instagram earlier today I shared this post about turning a new page in my book.

Just as I was typing this entry today, I received a text from a friend who is one of a few who "really gets" what I am experiencing. And I find this message really interesting especially since before I went to bed last night, I felt a HUGE shift inside me and I knew that today was going to be an incredible day.