Day 13: Transformation Continues (Nov 3/15)
A video of me today, on day 13. No longer the victim in my circumstance.
In his book, Nothing Changes until You do, Mike shares so many "ah ha" moments, and for the sake of being only a few chapters in, I will share a few that have really helped me gain perspective of where I am now and where I know that I deserve to be. When I started to read his book, I felt that it was me writing it. Much of what he was going through, I felt pretty much the same. This reminded me of how truly connected we are with others and that by sharing what we are experiencing in life, we have so much hope to provide to those who may be going through a similar struggle.
Introduction summary
"Somewhere along the way I had lost touch with my passion, purpose, and inspiration. I had fallen into the traps of both survival and ego-edification. I was trying to keep up with the various demands and pressures of my expanded life and trying to prove to others (and myself) that I was good enough, worthy of attention and recognition, and legit as an author, speaker, coach, husband, father, and man."
"I had lost my way and was in a state of deep emotional pain and confusion - questioning just about everything about myself, my work, and my life. I'd gotten so caught up in trying to keep up, achieve, and produce that at some level I felt I had forgotten who I was and why I was doing the things I was doing in the first place" - WOW, reading these two paragraphs in the first few pages of his introduction had me realizing that this book fell into my hands at the RIGHT time for the RIGHT reasons. I continued to read.
"Sometimes I feel as though I'm letting down the most important people in my life, including myself, because I don't know where to focus my time and attention."
"I've made my own self-care, personal growth, and spiritual connection more of a commitment in my life. I also feel like I've started to live and embody more of what I've been speaking and writing about over these past many years in terms of self-appreciation and self-love" - This paragraph was a moment when I knew this was time for me to start being in alignment with my own messages. Having only 50% of it right, is far from getting it to be in alignment. So even with the messages (videos, blog entries, Facebook posts, personal coaching sessions I provide), I was saying all the right things, but NOT living them 100% of the time. This was creating stress and we all know that stress has far reaching implications on overall wellness. I know now - that I am the ONLY one who can fix this lack of alignment, I am the ONLY one who can OWN my story. I am here where I am because of the choices I've made and the actions I've taken or not taken.
"I've been constantly reminded that everything comes back to our relationships with ourselves. And, no matter what it is we're facing, the most important and difficult aspect of it is always how we relate to ourselves."
Chapter 1 summary
"Whether it's our lack of clarity or our fear of letting other people down (or maybe a bit of both), focusing on what truly matters to us can be more tricky than it seems on the surface. Not focusing on what matters most to us has a real and often negative impact on our lives, our work, and everyone around us. We end up living in a way that is out of synch with who we really are, which causes stress, dissatisfaction, and missed opportunities and experiences."
"Say what you have to say; don't hold things back. Too often in life, we hold back because we're afraid of rejection, judgeemnt, and alienation. Expressing ourselves is about letting go of our limiting filters and living life 'out loud'
Chapter 2 summary
"A bad day for our ego (embarrassing, disappointing, and even painful) are great for our growth and development." Mike refers to Randy Pausch in The Last Lecture, "experience is what you get when you didn't get what you wanted" "When we do experience difficulties, we have the capacity to turn these "bad" things into incredible opportunities for healing and transformation. Learning to relate to our challenges in a more positive and conscious way is a crucial part of our growth"
Chapter 3 summary
"I catch myself when I focus too much of my attention on changing the world around me instead of focusing on the only thing I can really change - me. What if we put more attention on our own growth, evolution, and transformation - and less attention on trying to change the people and circumstance around us?"
Chapter 4 summary
"While there is nothing inherently wrong with our desire to have the respect and admiration of those around us or to accomplish our most important goals, we often give away our power, consciously or unconsciously, to the people, circumstances, and results (or lack thereof) in our lives."
It has been a great reminder and a practice for me to focus on fulfilling my own needs - not erroneously expecting people, accomplishments, circumstances, or situations outside of myself to do it for me.
Chapter 5 summary
"I will only go as fast as the slowest part of me feels safe to go. This is such an important message, although counterintuitive for those of us who pride ourselves on pushing past our limits and being bold. While taking bold actions and going for it in life are things I do believe are important and valuable, sometimes the best things we can do is slow down, have patience, and give ourselves permission to feel scared. When we do this in an authentic and loving way, the fear almost always subsides, and then we can motivate ourselves, take action, or make any change we want - from a place of truth and self-compassion. When we are gentle with ourselves, we remember that treating ourselves with kindness, acceptance, and love is essential to our growth and our well-being."
The chapters are very short, and chapter 6-40 all look just as powerful as the first 5. The book is only 214 pages in length and if you love what you see so far in the short summaries, my recommendation is for you to get a copy for yourself as it will be one of my most recommended books by far. I already know.
Introduction summary
"Somewhere along the way I had lost touch with my passion, purpose, and inspiration. I had fallen into the traps of both survival and ego-edification. I was trying to keep up with the various demands and pressures of my expanded life and trying to prove to others (and myself) that I was good enough, worthy of attention and recognition, and legit as an author, speaker, coach, husband, father, and man."
"I had lost my way and was in a state of deep emotional pain and confusion - questioning just about everything about myself, my work, and my life. I'd gotten so caught up in trying to keep up, achieve, and produce that at some level I felt I had forgotten who I was and why I was doing the things I was doing in the first place" - WOW, reading these two paragraphs in the first few pages of his introduction had me realizing that this book fell into my hands at the RIGHT time for the RIGHT reasons. I continued to read.
"Sometimes I feel as though I'm letting down the most important people in my life, including myself, because I don't know where to focus my time and attention."
"I've made my own self-care, personal growth, and spiritual connection more of a commitment in my life. I also feel like I've started to live and embody more of what I've been speaking and writing about over these past many years in terms of self-appreciation and self-love" - This paragraph was a moment when I knew this was time for me to start being in alignment with my own messages. Having only 50% of it right, is far from getting it to be in alignment. So even with the messages (videos, blog entries, Facebook posts, personal coaching sessions I provide), I was saying all the right things, but NOT living them 100% of the time. This was creating stress and we all know that stress has far reaching implications on overall wellness. I know now - that I am the ONLY one who can fix this lack of alignment, I am the ONLY one who can OWN my story. I am here where I am because of the choices I've made and the actions I've taken or not taken.
"I've been constantly reminded that everything comes back to our relationships with ourselves. And, no matter what it is we're facing, the most important and difficult aspect of it is always how we relate to ourselves."
Chapter 1 summary
"Whether it's our lack of clarity or our fear of letting other people down (or maybe a bit of both), focusing on what truly matters to us can be more tricky than it seems on the surface. Not focusing on what matters most to us has a real and often negative impact on our lives, our work, and everyone around us. We end up living in a way that is out of synch with who we really are, which causes stress, dissatisfaction, and missed opportunities and experiences."
"Say what you have to say; don't hold things back. Too often in life, we hold back because we're afraid of rejection, judgeemnt, and alienation. Expressing ourselves is about letting go of our limiting filters and living life 'out loud'
Chapter 2 summary
"A bad day for our ego (embarrassing, disappointing, and even painful) are great for our growth and development." Mike refers to Randy Pausch in The Last Lecture, "experience is what you get when you didn't get what you wanted" "When we do experience difficulties, we have the capacity to turn these "bad" things into incredible opportunities for healing and transformation. Learning to relate to our challenges in a more positive and conscious way is a crucial part of our growth"
Chapter 3 summary
"I catch myself when I focus too much of my attention on changing the world around me instead of focusing on the only thing I can really change - me. What if we put more attention on our own growth, evolution, and transformation - and less attention on trying to change the people and circumstance around us?"
Chapter 4 summary
"While there is nothing inherently wrong with our desire to have the respect and admiration of those around us or to accomplish our most important goals, we often give away our power, consciously or unconsciously, to the people, circumstances, and results (or lack thereof) in our lives."
It has been a great reminder and a practice for me to focus on fulfilling my own needs - not erroneously expecting people, accomplishments, circumstances, or situations outside of myself to do it for me.
Chapter 5 summary
"I will only go as fast as the slowest part of me feels safe to go. This is such an important message, although counterintuitive for those of us who pride ourselves on pushing past our limits and being bold. While taking bold actions and going for it in life are things I do believe are important and valuable, sometimes the best things we can do is slow down, have patience, and give ourselves permission to feel scared. When we do this in an authentic and loving way, the fear almost always subsides, and then we can motivate ourselves, take action, or make any change we want - from a place of truth and self-compassion. When we are gentle with ourselves, we remember that treating ourselves with kindness, acceptance, and love is essential to our growth and our well-being."
The chapters are very short, and chapter 6-40 all look just as powerful as the first 5. The book is only 214 pages in length and if you love what you see so far in the short summaries, my recommendation is for you to get a copy for yourself as it will be one of my most recommended books by far. I already know.
