These were the thoughts, the attacks going on in my head. I became so close to cancelling an evening that we had planned on for over a month. An evening where we would invite guests to our home for some wine and healthy (but yummy) snacks. We were looking to socialize, share 20 minutes about our lifestyle that we've enjoyed now for over 7 years and we wanted guests to bring business cards to network if they had a product or service to share. In theory it all seemed great. Sounds easy enough.
A few days before the event was to take place, I was SCARED! Those dis-empowering thoughts were seeping in. I was creating so many stories. When I expressed my fears, my husband said, "cancel then". I knew that wasn't an option...cancelling just speaks fear, uncertainty, discouragement, defeat and so much more. Following through with things has been a bit of a challenge for me in the past few years. I get super excited and then as time gets closer, I have been known to get "cold feet" so to speak.
Being aware of our habits, helps us change them. I was NOT willing to cancel...even if it meant that only Cam and I were here!
7:00 came. (the event started at 8:00). Friends came in, realizing they were an hour early - and we didn't mind. 3 hours earlier the kids had just gotten off the bus, Cam was still working, the house was a DISASTER and I hadn't made ANYTHING for the event. All I accomplished to that point was actually shop for the wine and ingredients I would be using. So considering my initial panic in the morning of how I would ever get it all done, I posted on Facebook at 10:00am "HOW? Small Steps Forward". That message was for me, as much as others likely benefited from it too. When I caught myself asking how on earth I would be ready for the evening? I listened to the answer, that was simply, small steps forward. (thanks to my soul - the part of me that is so simple and not always logical, but simple).
All those stories I was beginning to get wrapped up in earlier in the week, the ones that had me considering to cancel...became obsolete when I stopped giving them power.
The evening was such a great success. More than I could have ever anticipated or expected. Letting go of the stories and trusting what was meant to be was an important part of the process.
You see, it really is simple if we allow it to be. When you find you are telling yourself a dis-empowering story, be aware of what you are doing. You are making a choice to either listen or not. When we listen, the story often gets bigger and bigger and we have more of a reason to pull the plug on the idea or action we intended on. But when we STOP giving those thoughts the energy or attention, they dissipate. Sounds simple, yet so many of us give in to the negative story we are building in our mind. When we have awareness around it, we can ask ourself a simple question...but we MUST be willing to listen to the simple and empowering answer. Our ego will tell us things to keep us safe. Our soul also wants to keep us safe, but we don't often listen to it, because it is such a silent, small message hidden beneath our fearful "louder" voice. Confidence doesn't come easy...but our soul is always confident, it knows what is right for us, it knows how powerful we can be. It is gently helping us move forward with small steps each and every moment.
The question becomes am I willing to acknowledge the negative "ego" talking and thank it for keeping me safe? While at the same time, allowing myself to not give it power? It is like building a muscle though. We are so programmed (after years and years of doubts, fears, dis-empowering beliefs etc) to continue building stories about what will go wrong. It takes an effort to allow our thoughts and beliefs to shift into, what will go right? TRUST - you might just be surprised when you do!